


Just Like Heaven

by Adamarks



Category: Carry On Series - Rainbow Rowell
Genre: It angsty, M/M, Songfic, dream - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-13
Updated: 2020-02-13
Packaged: 2021-02-28 00:02:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 375
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22694494
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Adamarks/pseuds/Adamarks
Summary: "I’m in love with you too. I’m so sorry. You don’t deserve that. I didn’t mean to be. I’m sorry I put this on you."a little drabble based off of Just Like Heaven by The Cure
Relationships: Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch/Simon Snow
Comments: 17
Kudos: 39





	Just Like Heaven

**Author's Note:**

> i suggest listening to the song while you read so you can know everything baz is saying

Baz is—

I reach out and catch the back of his neck. My fingers start sinking. Sinking into his skin and I—

I’m being pulled in again. I’m being pulled in and I’m not me and I can’t breathe. It tastes like blood it tastes like sand it tastes like nothing. 

It’s too much. Go away—

We’re laying together. Facing each other. We’re not touching. He’s saying something and I love him. As always. 

He reaches out and he’s on top of me and his arms are around my neck and our foreheads are touching. 

“Promise…” he’s saying. 

Do I hear him or do I know him. 

“...Run away with you…”

I wrap my arms around his waist and we’re standing now, so I spin around. Holding him. 

I kiss his face. And his head. And maybe I could make him happy if I—

Were something else. 

Something more. 

Something less. 

He grabs my face and holds it fast. I get lost in his eyes. The only place where I don’t feel guilty for getting lost. 

Or maybe I do. 

I look at his lips. 

“—so far away,” he’s saying. 

“I’m in love with you.” He says. 

The waves are crashing around us now. 

He can’t be in the water. He can’t get wet. 

I pull on him. To get to shore. 

But the water swallows him up, and I lose my grip on his hand. He drifts away. He’s going to drown he’s going to die Baz  _ please  _ I’m  _ sorry  _ I’m sorry 

He disappears and all I can do is watch. 

I’m in love with you too. I’m so sorry. You don’t deserve that. I didn’t mean to be. I’m sorry I put this on you. 

I’m so so so sorry I’m in love with you. 

He’s gone now. I’ll never find him again. 

I drowned him. 

I drowned him I killed him it’s my fault 

I killed him 

It’s my fault

It’s my

Wake up. 

-

I wake up with a gasp. 

I suppose as far as nightmares go that was pretty tame. 

My face is wet. 

I’m alone in bed. 

I feel awful. 

I grab a pillow and clutch it to my chest. My throat stings from sobbing. 

I fall back asleep eventually. 


End file.
